Good evening, writers.
I'm sitting here typing on my blog after being away from it for months. I don't know if I'm happy to be back or ashamed that I've been away for so long. Maybe it's a mixture of both. To be honest, my life feels like it's on hold. As I move day by day, week by week towards a new year - 2010 - I'm full of anxiety. Next year, I will reach a major milestone age and I feel if I don't do certain things by the time I hit that age - I will have a major meltdown. And I know it will be my fault. I've been sitting/laying on my couch watching tv, stuffing my face and bemoaning my job, debt and subpar marriage. I didn't envision that I'd be nearing a new decade of my life in these situations. Truth be told, however, I didn't know where I would be at this stage of my life. Yes, I'm married, I have a child and I'm a homeowner. I have a well-paying job and I'm lucky to have a job in this shambles of an economy. But I am NOT happy.
I'm tired. I'm stressed. And I don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm watching this show call FLASHFORWARD and the premise is that everyone in the world sees their future 6 months from now. Some people see good things and some don't. Some even see nothing which means their death. I wish I could see my future - if only for a few moments. I jiust need an idea of where my life is headed and if there is something better in my future. I know seeing our future has it's pluses and minuses, but it would help me get a grip on what I should be doing. I need guidance - someone to say "this is what you need to be doing and here's how to do it." Or at least an image that would move me to action - any action.
Ciao for now.