The Urban Intelligensia

This Writer's Life - My Writing Now

Good evening, writers.

I'm sitting here typing on my blog after being away from it for months.  I don't know if I'm happy to be back or ashamed that I've been away for so long.  Maybe it's a mixture of both.  To be honest, my life feels like it's on hold.  As I move day by day, week by week towards a new year - 2010 - I'm full of anxiety.  Next year,  I will reach a major milestone age and I feel if I don't do certain things by the time I hit that age - I will have a major meltdown.  And I know it will be my fault.  I've been sitting/laying on my couch watching tv, stuffing my face and bemoaning my job, debt and subpar marriage. I didn't envision that I'd be nearing a new decade of my life in these situations. Truth be told, however, I didn't know where I would be at this stage of my life. Yes, I'm married, I have a child and I'm a homeowner. I have a well-paying job and I'm lucky to have a job in this shambles of an economy.  But I am NOT happy.

I'm tired. I'm stressed. And I don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm watching this show call FLASHFORWARD and the premise is that everyone in the world sees their future 6 months from now. Some people see good things and some don't. Some even see nothing which means their death. I wish I could see my future - if only for a few moments.  I jiust need an idea of where my life is headed and if there is something better in my future. I know seeing our future has it's pluses and minuses, but it would help me get a grip on what I should be doing.  I need guidance - someone to say "this is what you need to be doing and here's how to do it." Or at least an image that would move me to action - any action.

Ciao for now.

This Writer's Life - Writer on the Rise?

Hello writers!

It's Labor Day weekend and the unofficial end to summer.  I return to the teaching trenches on Tuesday and the young charges will be seated before me on Thursday. I have mixed feelings about returning to the classroom.  On the one hand, I'm excited about meeting new students, seeing old colleagues and returning to a more structured day.  But on the other hand, I dread what plots and schemes certain individuals may have in store for me. Plus, I don't know what I'm getting from students in terms of abilities and behaviors.  I want this to be a good year - but desires and realities are often switched.  I'll keep my hopes high, but my expectations low.

In more hopeful news, I have a published piece in the Sept 4th edition of The Word.  I wrote a book review for the nonfiction novel entitled "The Fence."  You can read all about it at www.thewordboston.com  Is this the start of more writing work to come? We shall see.

Ciao for now.

This Writer's Life - Falling back into Writing

Good evening, readers.

Well, August will be over in a few short hours and a new month will begin. I can't believe how quickly the summer has gone and fall is just around the corner. With the coming of September I hope to once again re-connect with my writing. I need to dedicate myself to a career as a writer and create pieces that inform, entertain and inspire.  I've heard time and time again that you don't get what ypu want waiting around for it to be given to you.  No one is going to give me a writing career. I'm the only one who can do that and I need to make it happen.

Ciao for now.

This Writer's Life - Summer dreams and Fall hopes

Good evening, writers!

Well, suffice it to say that my writing has once again taken a back seat to working and paying bills.

Now that my job is over, my hope is to focus on my writing.  I did take a free writing class on Monday and a writing seminar last week.  I'm looking ahead to the Fall and see a lot of writing options - just not the money.  I really want to take a class at Emerson - but it costs $650. I could swing it if I put some cash aside.  The classes don't start until Sept. 14th.  Another option is to do Grub Street and their classes start in September and October for a couple hundred bucks cheaper.  Then there are some online options from Mediabistro with prices ranging from the 100s to the 400s.  I just don't know. I want quality writing instruction and a chance to get an in at Emerson so that I can apply to their MFA program for the fall of 2010.  I have some thinking to do and some choices to make.

This Writer's Life - Renewed Faith

Good evening, writers.

Well, I attended a seminar on "The Art of Column Writing" and I came away excited and encouraged by what I learned.  I want to be a columnist and not just in the field of education, but in as many fields as I can.  My words need to be heard and beyond just teachers, but a global audience.  I can make this happen - I just need to stick with it.

This Writer's Life - The Difficult Comeback

Good morning, writers!

Well, I've been struggling with work, computer issues and the loss of writing desire. The rains have finally stopped and I also have been running the streets enjoying the sunshine.  But writing was always in the back of my mind.  In fact, it was on my mind almost daily.  But it's been hard.  I joined a gym almost a month ago, trying to get in shape and prepare for the fall and that has taken a lot of my energy, plus I'm still working on my eating habits.  I have to work harder at the gym if I'm scarfing down Wendy's!  So, as usual, I have a lot on my plate.  But writing is still on my mind.

I'm trying to make a comeback.

This Writer's Life - Michael Jackson's Influence

Good evening, writers.

Michael Jackson is dead.  Yes, I realize that this is old news by now, but it has taken me a few days to accept this tragic fact. Now, I can gather my thoughts and write about it. Michael Jackson shouldn't be dead.  Yes, he was sick and yes, he had issues; but death seems so surreal for a person like him.  When I first learned of his death, I, like the millions of his fans around the world, was in a state of shock and denial.  No way could the King of Pop be gone from this world.  But he is.  He is moonwalking with the angels now. He'll have to do his concerts with Elvis Presley, a couple of the Beatles and the countless other talents that have left this earth. My goodness, the devil is working overtime.  It seems like the last 2 or 3 weeks have been filled with death.  The plane crash from Brazil. The little boy in Worcester. Farrah Fawcett, Michael and I heard of the weekend that the king of pitchmen, Billy Mays, has died.  What happened to him?!

I'm tired of the death.  Someone needs to invent a way to stop it or at least make our bodies more resistant to it.  I understand that life and death go hand in hand, but when untimely, unnatural deaths occur, it seems so unfair.  Why do we have to die?! I don't want to be immortal - that comes with its own set of problems. And I would love to age gracefully, if not slowly, but at least live until I'm 100 and then pass on. We should all have at least that be a guarantee.

But, back to Michael.  I do'n't care what anyone says or claims - Michael was the force in music. Yes, he had lost cache with many in the Black community because of his ever-changing appearance and opaque skin, but worldwide he was still a force, drawing thousands anytime he made an appearance. Usher can credit much of his success to Michael and was influenced in his music and moves. Many artists were influenced by MJ and his influence will live on in his music.

As a writer, I am influenced by Michael's creativity.  The way he merged music, words and movement created masterpieces that still awe today.  That's what I want to do with my writing.  I want to merge words, images and feelings together to create materpieces of fiction, nonfiction, poetry, etc. I want my work to inspire, to influence and to inform.  I may never reach MJ's heights, but I want to be a creative force in my own way.

Thank you Michael for all that you gave us.  May you rest in peace.

This Writer's Life - Re-igniting the Passion

Good evening, writers.

Well, it's been almost a week and a half since my birthday and besides, shopping, partying and hanging out, I haven't done much of anything - at least writing wise.  I've lost the writing spark.  It has been snuffed out by stress, depression and fear.  I want it to return but I don't know how to get it back. I feel lost.  I'm waiting for "something" to happen - what I don't know.  But time continues to march on and I feel even more lost with every step. I need a boost, a creative jumpstart.  Ideas and possibilies float in my head, but I remain motionless, unable to act.  My will seems to have gone and I'm just operating on safe mode - get up, go to work, come home, eat, maybe a walk, watch tv/videos and then fall asleep on the couch.  Throw in some magazine reading and a little book browsing and that is my life. Pathetic, I know.  The writer in me, that tiny voice, occassionally lets out a quiet plea for attention.  I look at it briefly and then the darkness takes away any light my interest generates.  I want to scream, but the most I can do is veg out on the couch - thinking of "what if".  I need someone to kick me in the pants and get my ass going. HELP!!!!!

This Writer's Life - Birthday Blues and Weather Woes

Hello writers!

It's been almost a week since my birthday and besides shopping, I haven't done much.  Unless you count shopping and eating my delish choco cake. I feel so unmotivated, so depressed and so helpless. I know I need to be doing stuff, should be doing stuff and yet I am ofen motionless on the couch - thinking but not doing. I need a kick in the pants.  I thought going to last night's graduation at BC would help, but it was only a temporary lift.  Plus, the constant rain does not help.  It's depressing me even more.  All I want to do is sleep.  Help!!!!

This Writer's Life - Another Year Older

Good afternoon, writers.

Well, it's my birthday today.  Yay ME!!!  But it also makes me think.  Another year has come and gone and I am another year older.  What did I accomplish as a writer?  As a person?  I still have the same job. I took a few trips.  I completed some online writing courses.  I wrote a few articles for which I was paid. I have lived another year to see my baby boy turn 6.  My debt is a little bit lower.  But I'm still depressed over money, my relationships and the lack of a new baby. In another year, I'll be reaching a milestone age.  I want to use the next twelve months to make things happen, end bad habits and make some progress.  It starts today. Happy birthday to me.